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“Live your lifetime for you not for any person else. Do not enable the worry of staying judged, rejected or disliked quit you from getting your self.” ~Sonya Parker
On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my lengthy, thick, luscious hair.
I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Take Pleasure Barbershop, and sat in the chair with the most badass barber. She quelled my previous-moment fears and boldly took the clippers to my by no means-shorter-than-shoulder-size hair.
It was immediate liberation.
I experienced finally labored up the braveness to do so right after 4 years of interior discussion and fret, which went something like: What will men and women consider? Will people imagine I’m a gentleman? Will folks treat me in different ways? What if I’m really unpleasant and my ugliness will be disclosed? What if my head is oddly formed? Will I have to don a bunch of makeup?
My anxieties and views were obviously steeped deep in societal conditioning about natural beauty and femininity. We are advised that lengthy hair is female and beautiful. We are explained to that younger women of all ages aren’t meant to have limited hair. We are told that if you are a female with short hair, be absolutely sure to use makeup and jewellery so you glimpse female.
But I ultimately stopped all the wondering, broke free from those norms, and I just did it. I claimed, “Off with the hair!”
And now I come to feel cost-free-er, sexier, and prettier.
I experience extra like me.
It’s as if I drop levels that had been really hiding my real essence. My accurate essence as an adventurous, empathic, sensual becoming who from time to time feels comfortable and tender, and other moments feels bold and badass. My true essence as somebody who is wary of procedures and authority.
It’s also as if I drop levels of my moi. Due to the fact irrespective of whether I like to confess it or not, my hair was a important piece of my identification as a woman. Hair is an expert communicator, with the potential to send out so numerous messages as a result of a one look. Hair communicates gender, sexuality, prosperity, age, well being, and areas of our temperament.
Now that I have lose my extended hair, I consider the only part of me that is however communicated through my hair is my character. For a person can no for a longer time search at me and rapidly deduce my gender, sexuality, wealth, age, or well being. (I do have quite toned muscle tissue and glowing skin, so folks ought to be in a position to make an assumption about my health, but some persons only see the shorter hair and presume I have cancer).
What is communicated boldly is that I develop and dwell by my possess guidelines. And if people know just one issue about me, THAT is particularly what I want them to know.
My buzzed hair also lends an air of thriller, as persons speculate about all of these other minor test bins (gender, prosperity, age, and so on.) that are generally communicated by way of hair.
When I did drop some levels of my moi, my buzzed head also will make a really solid statement, and in comprehensive transparency, I get a whole lot of attention. This focus will come in all forms.
Occasionally it’s “Excuse me sir…oh! I imply ma’am.”
Sometimes it’s “You need to have to dress in lipstick to appear much more feminine.” (Who said I desired to seem much more female?!)
Other times it is “Omg, you are so beautiful” or “I Adore your hair.”
In some cases I get free guac.
I get a great deal of smiles from passersby on the sidewalk.
I get a great deal of lingering seems to be at the article office environment, the espresso store, and the dance flooring.
And whilst I do appreciate to be referred to as lovely (who doesn’t?!), I never attach myself to the praise or the criticism simply because I have made a decision for myself that I am potent, radiant, and stunning, from the inside out. I no lengthier care if men and women feel I seem masculine or female, unpleasant, or lovely. I don’t treatment if men and women in Idaho imagine I have most cancers. I really don’t treatment if persons believe I glance like a skinny boy with no make-up on. (What’s erroneous with hunting like a skinny boy?!)
This degree of not caring, of becoming so self-confident in who I am, is the top independence.
Plus, I know that when people today react just one way or the other, it is not genuinely about me and my hair. Their reaction means that I activated a little something within just them. I activated their wish to be no cost and to halt next the rules that an individual else laid out for them.
In the ideal scenarios, I provide other folks a minimal permission slip to move into their have boldness. Which is one of my favorite sections of buzzed life—when girls inform me I have motivated them to excitement their lengthy hair! That they have been so concerned about what folks would consider, but just after looking at me do it, they now have the bravery way too. That is potent.
So while the hairstyle of one lady may perhaps appear like a simple and insignificant thing, it basically performs a smaller but important job in the liberation and empowerment of women.
For when a female has the braveness to drive back against attractiveness expectations, that courage is ignited, and she also develops the bravery to choose freedom in other aspects of her lifetime as nicely.
For me, that has appeared like a lot more sexual freedom—making me a lot more playful in mattress and bolder in sharing my desires—and more self-confidence in all areas of my lifetime.
Buzzing my hair has also made much more time in my daily life, as I shell out less time getting completely ready. It is created a lot more mental space, as I no longer commit inordinate amounts of time considering about how to design my hair, when to clean it, and irrespective of whether or not to get it highlighted.
It has also freed up more income mainly because I no for a longer period commit hundreds of pounds on highlights and cuts. My fiancé buzzes my hair at residence and, from time to time, I bleach it myself.
It is also led to flexibility in how I gown. Occasionally I like to gown to convey my femininity. Other instances, I costume to categorical my masculinity. As another person who employed to be deeply insecure about her tomboy-ish-ness and lack of desire to dress in make-up, I have reclaimed the masculine parts of me with satisfaction, which has been an integral aspect of my therapeutic and expansion journey.
It has also deepened my sensuality. In the shower, the drinking water massages my head more intimately. On a summer time working day, the sun kisses me deeply. On a breezy early morning, the wind and I dance a graceful dance. On the dance ground, the softness of my fiancé’s lips activates my crown chakra. I really feel much less separation between the environment and me. I am a lot more built-in. I am extra informed of my oneness with the normal entire world.
Sure, all of this because of my buzzed hair!
So I’ll go away you with a handful of parting terms of knowledge:
1. Men and women are likely to communicate and have an viewpoint about you no subject what, so you may as nicely do what you want and be who you want.
2. Others’ opinions of you truly have far more to do with them than they do with you, so do not consider things too personally and issue yourself first and foremost with your viewpoint of yourself.
3. If you want to buzz your head, do it. If you don’t like it, it’ll mature back. But I guess you will like it!
So here’s to having motion to are living as a extra totally free, wild, and self-confident you!
About Teresa Towey
Teresa Towey is a coach and mentor for girls. She curates specific and group areas to guidebook women of all ages in returning to their wild, visceral character as a result of link to the system and the earth. She has a exclusive emphasis in encouraging gals express their sensuality and dwell in alignment with their menstrual cycles. Look at out her internet site and comply with her on Instagram. DM her to timetable a cost-free 1:1 session!
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